Pyrotechnics

Last night Brayden threw up in the middle of the night all over himself and his bed, pillow, etc. I love Lysol and washing machines. This morning he had a bath and threw up all over in the water so I drained it and we started over. I've spent the day giving him small amounts of Pedialite every 10 minutes. He loves the stuff, but have you ever tasted it? That stuff is NASTY! I bought one bottle of unflavored and two orange flavored. We started with the unflavored. Maybe the orange will be better.

At lunch I made him chicken noodle soup but only after I ruined the first batch. "How do you ruin canned chicken noodle soup?" you ask. Well I'll tell you. First you start preparing lunch in full realization that you need to go the bathroom. You throw the pan on the stove and turn on the wrong burner while you run down the hall to the bathroom. I was in the bathroom for probably no more that a minute and was rushing to wash my hands and get back to the stove when I hear Brayden say, "Uh, uh." (Uh, ow) He is starting at the stove where a roll of paper towels is sitting happily melting my burner handles (which are mounted on the back of the oven) and sending nice blacky-gray pieces of burning paper towel sailing into the air and all over my house. I panic and turn around in a circle three times. Yah that helped! Then I grab a bowl from the sink and and fill it with water. I managed to turn off the burner by stupidly knocking the flaming roll over with my hand and then I started pouring water all over the fire. Luckily it worked and I put the fire out without the entire fire department. I don't remember the roll of paper towels being there before I left for the Lou but they didn't just appear out of thin air did they? I don't remember turning on the wrong burner but it was the only one on when I got back and there was a brightly lit roll of gleaming paper towels right on top of it. Our poor defenseless soup was defiled by raining ash and bits of paper towel that so rudely invited themselves in to it's Mmmm Mmmm goodness. We tried again a second time and Brayden did get his lunch. Most of my days are filled with a variety of tasks but today was extra special. I got to be a nurse and a firefighter all in the same day.

Thanksgiving

What a boring title, sorry I don't know where my creative spark went.

I made 15 pie crusts and about 12 pies. You'd think that they would last a while and we'd get sick of them, but we only have 3/4 of a lemon meringue left. What can I say. They were yum!

We had Natasha, her daughter Zeela and the Jensen family over for Thanksgiving. The Jensen's did the turkey, homemade stuffing, veggies, and gravy. We made a veggie tray, mashed potatoes, Grandma Lucille's rolls, and PIES! Natasha brought fruit cake cookies. We all had a great time eating and playing games. None of us had the time off work or the money to go see our families during the holiday. It was nice to have friends to spend the holiday with.

I told the kids if they would help clean the house that I would make them any kind of pie they wanted and they could help make it. Tia chose lemon meringue, Ian chose banana cream, Ellayna chose pumpkin chiffon, and Brayden chose to just eat some of all of them. I also made a apple, cherry, and a chocolate. The children really stepped up. They swept floors, mopped floors, picked up, did laundry, dishes and dusted. I told Chris we need to have pie more often.

I enjoyed having my husband off work, and my kids off school. I cried when they all went back this morning. Chris and I had time to talk, cuddle, laugh, and play games. We (Chris) also got some things done in the yard. He mowed up all the leaves and spread them in the garden areas. I bought 45 bulbs for the flower garden in October but haven't got around to putting them in. Chris planted them all for me on Saturday. He wasn't going to tell me but I caught him doing it. He just wanted me to think they planted themselves. Chris and I had time to spend with the kids and just enjoy being a family. We popped popcorn and ate it while we played Zonkers, we made paper snowflakes, we watched movies, we kept the fire in the fireplace going most days because it was cold, we talked and laughed and had tickle fights, planned a Secret Santa, etc.

I can't wait until Christmas break! I have most of the Christmas shopping done so we can sit back and enjoy each other the whole month of December.

It's a Good Life

I'm writing this for myself so that I can remember that one day I got something accomplished. I trimmed the roses, straightened and swept the garage, vacuumed the van (It really needed it!), and it's only mid-day.

I've had a hard time getting anything done lately because I've changed religions and started praying to the Porcelain God sometimes 200 times a day. I am also acquiring a large growth in my abdomen. I've been seeing the Doctor regularly and he's discovered my growth has a heartbeat. Yes, we're pregnant again. I'm due on my birthday, April 21. I'm finally over my morning sickness and glad to be back to work in the yard and house.

Not much else to tell. Maybe I should keep my mouth shut but I think life is finally back to normal: taking kids to school, homework, "What do we have for dinner?", Family Home Evening, 3 callings for me and 1 for Chris, Christmas shopping, Dr. Appointments, etc.

Life has been so much sweeter lately for me. Even though my tumor wasn't fatal it wasn't fun and I spent some miserable weeks not being able to do the things I love or the things that I don't love doing but do them because I love my family. I cherished my family before, but now I have a deeper burning in my heart while I do those simple day to day things for my husband and children. I've been so happy to be able to wash poop-streaked underwear and oatmeal out of the carpet and shoe marks off the walls and wash soiled bedding when the kids don't make it to the toilet in the night, and the molding Tupperware that are always found in the furthest corner of the refrigerator, etc. I love being healthy and able to work and I'm glad God gave me a reason to love doing it.

Christmas in October

*This is something I started typing in October and never completely finished. I figured I'd post it anyway.

Brayden and I have been watching Christmas Movies all week. I don't know about anyone else but I'm ready for Christmas. I'm ready for the loads of sugar, the snow, the Christmas tree and the works. Maybe I'm just excited because my husband will be home this year.



I'm ready for Thanksgiving too. I LOVE GOOD FOOD!

Tumor Free!

I just got a call from Dr. Butler and she said my margins are clear. I'm done! It's over! I'm finished! The misery is ended!

Slow Mohs #2

Before . . . . . .



After . . . . . .


The dots on the before picture are for measurement purposes. Yes! They drew on me.

Forks, Scalpels and the Smell of Roast Beef Round Two

It was nice to have Chris with me for this surgery. It was just more of the same. They took out another piece of skin and sewed me shut again. Each time I feel more and more that my armpit is becoming my shoulder blade or vise versa. We are still waiting to hear if the whole tumor has been removed.

If this surgery doesn't work I talked to the doctors about an experimental surgery. They were all to eager to give it a name. I suggested that they sharpen an ice cream scoop and just dig it out. Dr. Fosko named it the Super Scoop. The nurse renamed it the Fosko Super Scoop. They thought I was joking! Can you believe that?

Before I divulge the next part of the story I have to give you a disclaimer. Chris was an EMT in Provo and saw all kinds of gross stuff. He has always had a strong stomach and has never been fazed by blood or gore.

The doctors let him stay in the room but he had to sit in a chair by the door. The rooms are small enough that he could still see everything. They got to the part where my insides are hanging wide open and he decided he needed to leave for a few minutes but before he can get through his sentence to tell them where he's going he blacked out. Luckily he was still sitting in the chair and I'm the most fabulous tumor doner they've seen in a while so there was gobs of people in there. The head (Dr. Fosko - pictured above) recognized what was happening before Chris did and ran over and wrapped his arms around Chris's legs just as he blacked out. So Chris woke up to a man with the most fabulous mustache right in his face! Once conscious he had to lay on the floor for a few minutes. Because he couldn't get up he missed the smell of my roast beef. That's what he gets for stealing the spotlight. When he could walk he was escorted to his own operating room, reclining operating chair, pillow, and a snack! I didn't even get a snack!

The day after surgery they called to check on me and make sure everything was going okay and then they asked about Chris. I just had to laugh. He really was the life of the party! It will be an experience we won't soon forget.

You want another piece of me?

Monday I went to my follow up and everything looked good. They sent me home and said I was done. Wednesday the good Doc called and said that I need to come back for round two of Slow Mohs. There was scar tissue at the margin which means that there could be more tumor deeper in my skin. I'm not happy. Round two is scheduled for Wednesday August 6. Chris will be able to come with me this time. I hope they let him stay for the surgery part of it. If they don't I may have to throw a tantrum! Maybe I'll throw a tantrum anyway.

I'm coming up with a list of things I can do with the kids our last week together before surgery and our last week before school starts which will be my recovery period. The later is a little more difficult because I will only have the use of one arm and I may not be able to drive depending on the drugs they prescribe. Any ideas would be great. A whole list would be better. Please leave a comment.

Before and After Pictures

Forks, Scalpels and the Smell of Roast Beef

I'm sorry it's taken me so long to post about my surgery. I think I have a good excuse though.

I got to the waiting room last Monday about 10 am. I was the last one to come in and one of the first to leave for surgery. I didn't think that was very fair to everyone else waiting for their turn, but I was glad get mine over with.

In the surgery room they took my vitals, asked a million questions, and had me take a pregnancy test. Yes, it was negative. Sorry to disappoint. After I was sterile the fun began.

They took an initial piece of flesh off the top with the part of the tumor they could see. The pathologist came down from upstairs to pick up the initial piece herself. I don't think this is common practice because the doctor seemed surprised to see her. Once that was out they dug deeper and took everything down to the fat layer. It was a hole about the size of a quarter but it wasn't round, it was football shaped. While they were cutting I could hear their scalpels cut what sounded like gristle in places. YUM! Everybody (nurses, doctors, PAs, etc.) kept coming to see how it was going. They were so excited to have some different kind of tumor to cut out of someone. They all wanted to be a part of it. The doctor would say things like, "If you're going to be in here get me a ______."

After they removed the chunk of tissue they had to separate the skin that was still attached to my muscle so that they could stretch the skin enough to stitch me shut. They also cauterized in a few places so that I wouldn't have a problem with it bleeding too much. While they were in the process of cauterization I found out something new. I smell like roast beef when I cook! While they were stitching me together an assistant had to use two instruments that look like forks with their tongs curled back around toward the handle. They used this to pull the skin together while the doctor was stitching to help the stitching be tight and not rip out before they were done.

When the doctor was done the nurse put steri-strips over the incision. Steri-strips look like that old tape with thin strings inside. This also helps keep it together and keep germs out. It's good stuff too. They told me to just let it fall off on it's own. I'm still waiting for that part.

The doctors want me to see a dermatologist every six months for the rest of forever. Sounds fun! Like licking a dead cat fun!

It's been a rough week. I thought it would be like having stitches. It's NOT! Luckily I have a great friend, Jolynn, who took me to surgery and back and another awesome friend, Kim, who watched my kids for hours during surgery and, and, and . . .I could go on. I've had meals and phone calls and a wonderful husband that sees me through everything including partial insanity caused by medication. Chris has been my rock and my stay. I love you!

Today I feel more like I just got stitches. I'm feeling less sore and able to move around. I can't lift anything heavier than 10 lbs. until next Monday, and I can start driving again on Wednesday. The end is near . . . I hope. We still haven't heard anything from the pathologists. We are still praying that they got it all. I believe. Help thou my unbelief!

Piano Lessons and Tornadoes

I'm sitting here listening to the tornado siren go off and it's about 45 minutes before I'm supposed to teach piano lessons. I think maybe I should cancel. What do you think? I guess it depends on what the families want to say about their lives when they are all over (maybe sooner than later).

"I rode in the back seat of the car and watched a tornado chase me the whole way to piano lessons!"

"Well sonny, I went to piano even if there was a threat of tornado so you can go to piano during an earthquake so GET IN THE CAR!"

"I got in the car and the tornado took me from my garage right into my piano teachers house without even starting the engine. It was a wild ride, but an expensive lesson due to the car smashing a huge hole in the side of Mrs. Becky's house."

Maybe being able to say that piano lessons were canceled because of a tornado will be good enough!? I know I can't say that about my childhood!
Becky

Blessings

I have so many good friends here in Illinois that make this a lot easier for me. Sundee brought me yogurt, bananas and kiefer when I had my allergic reaction to the antibiotic, and helped me laugh at my rash that covered my whole body. Jolynn drove me to the clinic and waited with me for 4 hours! She even volunteered to take me back on the day of surgery. Kim has been a good friend to talk to and laugh with when I'm feeling stressed. She has no idea what a strength she has been to me. Sean has been my personal comedian during chiropractic sessions and helped my bones feel better than they have felt in ten years. Melanie has watched my children during EVERY appointment (Even during the summer when she has had four children of her own. That makes eight children folks!) and been my shoulder to cry on and by buddy to laugh with.

I also have a great family that has been very supportive. It's a shame that we don't live closer to each other, but I have felt their prayers in my behalf. I have a great father-in-law who, during the early stages, would call almost everyday for an update. I have a great mother-in-law who has been an ear to talk to and a example of endurance when life throws you a curve ball. My mom, of course, has been a light to me my whole life. She has shown me what to do with adverity and trial. My Dad has been an example of enduring physical pain and made me be thankful that this little tumor is not something more serious. He also wrote me a poem that made me cry and laugh all in the same breath:

B9 tumor - sounds like battleship.
I think they're just trying to get under your skin!
Everybody wants a piece of Becky.
To doctors, people with insurance are special!
To us you have always been special!
And we want all of you - not just a piece.
We're not trying to get under your skin.
And if you want to play battleship - we promise not to hurt you.

Normally I don't get a lot of family out this way to visit because it's easier to bring our family to Utah to see everyone than for everyone in Utah to come see us. But last month or so I've had my cousins and aunt come (way out of their way) to visit us. They were taking a Church History Tour of sorts and detoured from Nauvoo to our house. I also had my brother-in-law (Kevin), his daughter (Erin) and two of my brothers (Jaydan and Joel) come out for about a week. We stayed up late laughing and working on Kevin's house. What a blessing laughter is! It can lift the heaviest load.

Most of all I'm thankful for a Heavenly Father who is mindful of me and has seen fit to not give me cancer. I feel like he is in charge and I know he loves me.

A Name Change

I saw Dr. Fosko today along with a resident and a nurse. Maybe to clarify I should say they saw me. They saw nearly every inch of me. You know, there are very few people that can get away with that and not get slapped. The nurse took a picture of my tumor, the doctors stuck their fingers in my armpit and other places checking my lymph nodes, and I got asked rounds of questions including, "How can I get underwear like that?"

As for the diagnosis they say that it is a dermatofibroma (DF) spindle cell tumor. I looked up dermatofibroma and here's what I found. This does not cover the spindle cell tumor part of it. DF occurs more commonly in females with a male to female ratio of 1:4. It can occur in patients of any age but 20% occur before 17 years of age. Characteristics are pain and itching. DF forms most commonly on your legs, but second most commonly on your limbs. Historically it is believed to be caused by arthropod bites, however the cause of DF is unknown. Color can range from "gray, yellow, orange, pink, red, purple, blue, brown, or black, or a combination of hues." I was a little disappointed that there wasn't a green. I mean, come on, if you're going to cover everything else I think green is going to feel left out.


I also found this interesting bit of information about the spindle cell type of DF:
"Immunohistochemical testing with antibodies to factor XIIIa is frequently positive in DF, while antibodies to MAC 387 show less consistent results. The former antibody labels fibroblasts (dermal dendrocytes), while the latter labels monocyte-derived macrophages (histiocytes). Controversy exists as to whether the factor XIIIa positivity occurs within the actual tumor cells of DF or simply labels the reactive stromal cells; hence, the cell of origin for the spindle cell proliferation of DF is debatable. The cell surface proteoglycan, syndecan-1, may play a role in the growth of DF. Transforming growth factor-beta signaling might be a trigger of the fibrosis seen in DF."

Do you understand that? Yeah, me neither! No, basically I understood that they have no idea which cell type the dermatofibroma starts in in the spindle cell tumors. But that's really a pretty useless piece of information isn't it?

Here's an interesting fact.
"Factor XIIIa requires calcium as a cofactor."
See, Chris might be right about it being a calcium deposit.

I will be having Slow Mohs Surgery on the 14th of July. Regular Mohs Surgery conserves as much of the normal tissue as possible, but Slow Mohs Surgery is a little more aggressive. They will be removing a sizable portion of skin and it will not be sutured shut. YUM! They will send the tissue off to the pathologists and they will determine if the tumor has been completely removed. If there are still missing pieces to the puzzle I will go back and undergo Slow Mohs Surgery again, and again, and again until the tumor is completely gone. Some people go in once and some come back over and over again. I hope I'm the before mentioned. After all the tumor has been removed they will do reconstructive surgery. Until then I will have a huge (okay so maybe it won't be that big) hole under my arm. That should arouse some interest!

Dermal Spindle Cell Tumor

I love my family and friends, but I'm not good at remembering all the people I need to e-mail so I started this blog so that you can all check it and not miss one gory detail.

The first part of May my MD removed what we thought was a sebaceous cyst (that's scientific talk for really big zit) at first but after he got cutting we, or rather he, discovered that it was a tumor. The funny part is that when he finally got it out of my body it stuck to everything. It stuck to his glove the metal instruments he used to remove it, EVERYTHING. It took him a good minute just to get it in the jar. The Dr. sent it off for testing and the pathologists had to collaborate to come up with a name for my growth. They believe it is benign but they say my growth is/was? really rare meaning they've never seen anything like it before. I always knew I was special!

They are sending me to the Head Goo-Roo at St. Louis University Dermatology on June 4th because the regular Dr wasn't able to remove the whole tumor. The 4th is an initial consultation and we will schedule Mohs surgery after that appointment. Maybe the specialist will know something more or maybe I'll be his science experiment. Time will tell. Maybe they'll pay off half my mortgage if I pitch a fit about letting them keep my precious tumor! I doubt it.

Chris's prognosis is that it's a calcium deposit and that I will live for a very long time. My prognosis is that it's a really unique type of Velcro that sticks to anything and after I figure out how to manufacture more I will live a life of fame and fortune. We figure we probably know just as much as the doctors at this point so why not make a prediction. Any other predictions are most welcome. Please leave a comment.

Lov ya all!
Becky